Today was much better.

So today was much better than yesterday, although training is terrible boring. I can't wait for school to start, I just keep thinking that I will meet some new friends and I'll have people to spend time with, if I can ever manage to work it into my schedule. Good friends the kind that feed your soul. Not that all my friends don't do that already but you guys live so far away, and I miss you so dearly at times. But I can tell fall will be here soon and the seasons are changing as is everything in my life. It's scary but I can only hope that the change will bring forth a positive experience. But right now I'm chillin at home watching the Gilmore Girls and eating walmart deli food which I went out of my way to get to say hey to a friend I haven't seen much of lately. But at last they weren't their. I should have made a frozen pizza. Oh well. I will write more later.

So I've been completely stressing myself out all day. I am realy wishing I had gone into the repair project. No one said training would be 5 weeks long and now their saying that their not going to pay us our weekly bonus all through training like they were suppose to. They are only willing to give it to us for two weeks. Now for two weeks thats $200.00. So Thats $300.00 I'm getting screwed out of. Plus The supervisor was like put her on the phone and I was fine with that I was just talking to people, and the other person was working the computer system and I just assumed everyone else in training was doing the same thing but apparently I was the only one. No big deal. But it's realy stressful talking to people for the first time when you don't realy know what the fuck your suppose to say to them. Not to mention the building is like -10 below and its 80 degrees outside so I can seem to stay comfortable. Then I went and and got my class schedule and my student ID finally the guy was there. Then they said they don't know if there going to let Full time people work 30 hrs. They may make us work the full 40 in order to keep our benefits. Well I can't work 40 hrs and still have time to study and I can't afford to not keep my benefits so that would completely suck. And I realy realy don't want to move but I think I'm going to look for an apartment one more time. More actively this time. Because I think as far as time management goes it would probablly be best. I just hate the idea of settling into a new place. And it sucks because I feel realy stressed out right now and I know it's because of my job and they don't know what the fuck is going on. The project is new and no one has a clue. Oh yeah and then they said they were going to do background checks on all of us as a requirement another thing they failed to mention, and those that don't pass the background check will be automatically terminated. Let's ignore the fact that we already work there and have been working there with no problem. And I've had an FBI background check run on me in order to work at the Casino and as far as I know I have done nothing criminal in the last 3 years. But again so not the point. It's just stressful. Plus I can't eat. Everytime I eat something I get realy nautious so now I am eating soup and crackers, not something I would normally eat in July but it's making my tummy feel good. Ugh I just totally needed to vent I think I am going to finish eating and then go watch Harry Potter while I put my clothes away, and then I'm going to hit the sack. I just want some peace, and stability. No craziness, no fighting, just peace and quiet.

I'm not dead I swear!

So this week has been kind of icky. I started training on my new project and to say the least it realy sucked. For the most part because of the young obnoxiously loud boys in the class. At first I thought I was just being bitchy but then I realized it was not all of them it was just a select few. I was irritated because I can't make extra bonus money until I'm back on the floor which wont be for three weeks at least and these guys were totally fucking off and keeping us all from learning what we were suppose to be learning. It was like a wave of bad energy everytime I walked in the room. Then I got stuck doing a group project with 8 people who thought it would be productive if we all worked together instead of breaking down the project into smaller groups. So we ended up finishing a half hr after everyone else and our project sucked. Maybe I'm putting too much into this but it's my job and I'm going to be there for a long time and I would like it to be enjoyable. So then a friend of mine lost their keys and their vehicle has been parked at my house for over a week now, which I don't realy care about but all week it was a scavenger hunt to find these keys. Then we get into a fight. Go figure. And of course now it's a situation of who breaks down and talks to who first but I think this time we have both reached the point of not wanting to give in. Part of me knows that if I suck it up and make the first move that we will just end up right back in this situation because we always do, and part of me just wants to get over this and move on because this weekend it's not just about him and it hurts but then again, if this realy is the end then it's has to be only about him. I can't hang onto someone else for other reasons, and besides the other reasons probablly wont notice I'm not in the picture so as long as there not affected it's fine. OK none of that made any sense to anybody sorry, apparently I'm famous for that. I have been writing and now I have to find all the random stuff I've written on so I can post it on the other site. So if youre interested in my crappy poetry keep your eye out. Anyways it will be a quiet weekend. I'm going to clean a bit and then who knows what else, so this blog may get more than one post out of me this weekend.

I wore myself out..

So this morning I got up and went to Vermillion paid all my bills, went and had chinese then picked up my new friend Brandy who is from TN which makes her company that much better. Then we drove to Sioux Falls, went to Toys R Us. Went on a huge shopping spree where I didn't realy buy anything cuz my funds weren't realy allowing for that. Then we went to the World Store ate some snacks from Singapore. Then got lost in Sioux Falls yes Andy I almost had to call you to get us un lost.. But we found our way to the shuttle bus which took us to Jazz Fest. We raided the Greek Food Tent. Then ate Corn on the cob on a stick. Only it wasn't realy on a stick. We listened to some good music and then drove back home and then I went to a graduation party and now I am going to bed because I have wore myself out. I have not had this much fun in awhile. It's very strange with Brandy because 10 years ago we crossed paths several times and found ourselves in the same room but never met and now here we are in South Dakota it's very weird. But I can say weird things about TN and she totally gets it and it makes me miss home just a little less. Anyways I will write more later. Peace Out

Sitting in my dirty Apt.

So I went into july having nightmares, I woke up crying over my ex husband and feeling like an idiot that I would be crying yet again over someone who doesn't even exist to me anymore. Then I spent my morning at the Bridal Shop which was fun because we got to try on our dresses we went and enjoyed a lunch at Olive Garden and then went to Target where Amy bought me and excellent Rug for my kitchen as a house warming/ birthday present. Then we drove home, went and loaded up on Explosives went to walmart made fresh Salsa and Taco's for lunch. Went out onto a gravel road in the middle of know where and blew some stuff up and then headed back to my apartment were we proceded to get drunk and pass out. Which did not take much Alcohol considering neither of us had drank in quite a long time. Then we woke up this afternoon and went to the Dam Beachouse for lunch where I have been wanting to eat for some time now and the food was realy good, and now Amy has gone back to Minnesota. She's been gone for 15mn and I'm missing her already. I had so much fun with her here it was so good to see her. It was good to spend sometime with an old friend.