This is so true.....

My Horoscope for today!

Being smart is one thing, but you've got the ability to transcend mere intelligence. You absorb information and make connections that seem obvious once you point them out. Share your gifts with the world.

Blah Blah Studying...

I hate that I have been studying and studying and yet can't seem to retain any of the information for my test tomorrow. Show me a piece of art I can tell you why I like it or not, but I can't tell you that Davinci' used a pencil that was manufactored by a machine built by Benjamin Franklin made with lead provided by the same tree that held the apples that fell on what's his names head and before being used to draw that exact drawing was actually chewed on by Michaelangelo who then lent Davinci the pencil to sign a note he was writing to his lover, but Davinci subconciously stole the pencil. I'm sorry I'm just not that good. Why I decided being an Artist would be fun I have no idea. I just want to go get a job in my field of work, and work there. I don't want all this extra crap that goes with it. Work and School and Bills and Responsiblity, I feel like I have no life, all my friends live realy far away and I have no one to share any of this with. I guess if I had someone to sit around and kiss my ass and tell me my crappy drawings were good, maybe I would feel encouraged but in reality. My drawing teacher is the only person that looks at my sketch book, and I guess I realized that they aren't very good anyways and they will inevitably end up in a box of dust sitting in a garage somewhere forgotten. Oh well. I can say I seem to be improving somewhat and I have determined that my favorite medium to use is Conte as opposed to Charcoal. But again this rant was pointless and I must go back to studying this break was nice though... Maybe I will have something more interesting to say.

I love Maya!

“I do not trust people who don't love themselves and yet tell me, 'I love you.' There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”


Maya Angelou

And the rant continues...

I am sick of being single, and I seriously don't think there is one person out there for me. Why can't I find someone who is not a complete asshole, or who is willing to use me as long as they don't have to invest anything into the relationship. And why is it when relationships go bad, it is always the guy trying to convince us that we fucked up. That we are the crazy ones, that somewhere between our sanity and there inability to love, we caused every single problem that brought destruction to the relationship. Well news flash, we maybe emotional, but you guys are just as if not more fucked up than us. At least we are willing to admit were fucked up. And what has become of this world. When did people just start taking advantage of eachother and not giving a fuck. When did stepping all over people become a favorite and acceptable past time. And why is it that I feel like I have been transported back to middle school, where I just don't get it and feel constantly annoyed. Why can't people stop acting like 12 year olds. But then when I stop and think about it, when I'm with my realy good friends (Theresa, Amy) I act like a kid sometimes. But not all the times, yeah I will do goofy shit and laugh and carry on, but I don't swarm in a pool of drama day in and day out, sucking in everyone around me like the god damn lockness monster. I have a feeling that this rant will go on for days and days. But for now I will let it go, on a side note. I was extremely worried about Amy who landed in Honolulu yesterday, but I am glad to hear that she is very safe, they were without electricty but they were safe and that makes me feel good. Well good bye for now. I hope my one woman audience enjoyed this lovely rant....

The beginings of a rant.

So I am waiting on my clothes to dry before I head back to SD. On a side note Theresa I had a dream about you last night, we were in High School and causing a lot of trouble. Maybe I was just reminising in my sleep, who knows. Anyways, it has been a long weekend and I am glad to be heading back to my apt. I feel like I am at the point that I am almost emotionally drained. Reflecting on love and marriage and current and past relationships. The true meaning of friendship. And the hardest one of all assessing how you treat yourself, and allow others to treat you. Sometimes I think we allow others to violate us in ways we would normally consider disrepectful to our minds and bodies. But because of the feelings we have for the person, we make exceptions. As though we believe that they are more worthy than even ourselves. That because of the way they make us feel for an hr out of the week, they deserve leniency. We makes excuses to make exceptions. Breaking these patterns are the hardest to do. It's like chiseling away from a puzzle that has been glued together in hopes of retaining the value of the picture. Sometimes the pieces pull away simply, and sometimes they tear and pull, ripping at the finished product and leaving nothing left for others to enjoy. Of course as you can see my pessimistic side is shining through bright, I like to believe that love has that affect on me. But I am sure I will write more later. But until then well, you will just have to wait.

Feelings for the day...

"Some people never say the words 'I love you'. It's not their style to be so bold. Some people never say those words: 'I love you' But, like a child, they're longing to be told."

This dress is definetly scrumptious!

Cream Puff Dress

I'm such an idiot.

So I have seen the Movie Mystic Pizza about a million times, it is still by far one of my favorite movies. Lame I know. But of all the times that I have seen it not until now have I ever realized that Matt Damon played Charles little brother. But there you have it, even in 1988 he was a hottie.

This is an amazing photograph!

I love it...

917	Thelonious Monk was born on October 11, 1917 (American jazz pianist and composer, 1917-1982) "Sometimes it's to your advantage for people to think you're crazy"

This is so disguisting.I

I honestly don't know how you can look like this and not get up in the morning and think, hmm I should eat a cracker. This cannot possible be healthy.

Ode to my Toaster.

After 10 long years, 2 countries, and 4 states, this morning I was forced to put my toaster to rest. His death was short and painless, he popped one last time and up with my toast came blue flames and a few sparks, sort of a fireworks show to say his last goodbye. He still may work, but at last I love my apartment more than I did my toaster, and I replaced him this afternoon. So rest well my friend you were a good appliance, you sat with me many a morning over many cups of teas, and although you will not be missed and you have already been replaced, I will always remember you as my first! Heres to you!

Thank You for the Unsolicitated Advise.

OK thanks you too Nimwads for giving me advice even after I asked you not too. I am feeling so much better now, I was seriously trying to vent and just get it out of my head so I can think straight. It's hard getting wrapped up in other peoples lives, and thats what happens when you have friends. I am procrastinating at the moment. I have a drawing I need to get done, and I realy hate drawing class, well I don't realy hate the class as much as feel awkward in the class, because when I am trying to draw I feel like I completely slip into my own shell and everything around me is disruptive and annoying. Not to mention today it was hot as fuck and I seriously felt like I was going to pass out, and I get annoyed when what I see is completely different then what other people see, yet I'm expected to draw the exact same thing. And then the teacher says your drawing looks very chaotic. Yeah no shit Im feeling very chaotic in fact I'm feeling a bit homicidal, it's hot, I'm sweating, I'm tired, and I can't think straight because my mind is blanking out. But that is life I suppose, now I am sitting in my apt which desperately needs to be cleaned. It was definetly a long weekend, I did manage to get my dress from the briday shop and thanks to Roger's mom will be having it altered so my ladies don't make and appearance during the ceremony. My panick attack thank god did not last past my last post, but I am still thinking through the whole situation. And no it's not just the other person, it's me and how I treat the other person, and how I treat the situation. It's not fair to him and more than it's fair to me. But we talked and were moving forward and hopefully things will improve. But I must get back to my homework soo woo hoo.